Britain's Got Talent 2013 - Week 7

It's the final week of auditions tonight (sob) and we will be finding out at the end of the show who has made it to the semi finals! But before that, we've got lots of entertaining (?!) acts to sink our teeth into! 

So first up tonight was James More, a 38 year old magician. As we all know, Simon does not like magicians unless they do dangerous things. He definitely liked this act! James put himself on a knife and it sliced through his body making it look like had been impaled. I have no idea how he will top that as it was a heart stopper! Next was 3D dance show Freelusion. Who turned the lights out to create as visually stunning piece using lights and projections. We also got the chance to meet, Meat Diva. A duo dressed as Freddie Mercury and Tina Turner, to which they started to sing like. But behind a screen on the stage, they were both changing their costumes into Meatloaf and Cher. David said that he though it "was very erotic." Not quite sure what he was watching! Thankfully Simon was the only person with common sense and buzzed them. Somehow the duo managed to get through but I am not sure how they can make their act look less tacky or even sound better.

James More

Meat Diva

Next was mango loving, 14 year old, Gabz Gardiner, who went for the onesie and cap combo that we have never seen before. Ever. Singing and playing a self penned song about losing the love of your life, of which she has thankfully not experienced, she got a good response from the crowd and judges. Not my kind of music unfortunately and I do not think she was as good as 2011's runner up, Ronan Parke (need to stop referring to him, but he was one of Britain's Got Talent's best acts who should have beaten Jai McDowall!), but still a good effort. Should a 14 year old really be singing "put your lighters in the air"? A deserved yes from all the judges means that Gabz will most probably be seen in the semi finals.

And that is it! The auditions are over and now the judges face their "toughest decision yet" as they decide who is to go through to the semi finals.

The judges deliberate!

And so the judges fought over who they wanted to put through to the semi final's with arguments naturally occurring.

The full list of semi finalists for 2013 can be found here!

I'll be back tomorrow night for the first of the live shows!

Britain's Got Talent 2013 - Week 6

Its the sixth week of Britain's Got Talent and this year we have seen more talent than you can shake a stick at! This week we are starting in London with the first outside act of the series!  The first act were diving... from 25 metres above ground. Putting that into perspective, Olympic divers usually dive at 10 metres. A spectacular act that started with people jumping off diving boards from various heights, to finishing with the 25 metre dive and setting one of the divers on fire and diving into the water. Potentially, it might have been the most dangerous act to have ever graced the show. Just imagine if one of them had slipped, from 25 meters high! Ouch!

La Quebrada High Divers

Next up it was Stevie Pink, a 42 year old illusionist, who decided to dress up like a pink twat. His levitation act failed to make a big impact initially on Alesha and Amanda who both buzzed the moment he put his glamorous assistant to sleep. However, as soon as he levitated the girl and spun her around and flew her about, the judges perked up and mouths in the room dropped. With the room stunned and the judges wondering how it was done, he went flying into the next round. 

Stevie Pink

Thanks to last year's winners Ashleigh and Pudsey, this year the competition saw lots of animal acts, but they were not necessarily good acts! First up was Patty the Donkey, an artist... Well, just a donkey that they stuck paintbrushes in the mouth expecting it to become Van Gogh... Instead, we got splodges of paint on a piece of paper. Next was Kimberly and her raccoon Melanie. A somewhat dog agility course for a raccoon which sadly did not impress the judges. We then saw The League of Extraordinary Groomers, who took a long time painting their dogs with the judges faces. And I can tell you it was a long time as I was in the audience for the atrocious act! We then got to see Jo and Rappaw, which is what I expect Ashleigh and Pudsey to be like in 50 years time, with Simon saying it's the worst dog act he has ever seen. 

Kimberly and Melanie

Jo and Rappaw

So after all these dodgy animal acts we saw Joseph Hall, a dancer teacher who was coincidentally dancing. Quite a brave thing to be doing, not many people dance on their own on the show any more since the big dance acts have been popular. But, Joseph proved that people still enjoy it when someone dances on their own, perhaps it was his killer moves that put him through! A ventriloquist was up next and surprisingly the judges loved it! Perhaps it was because he was one of the first ventriloquists who was actually funny! But, stealing this segment of the show was The Band Of Voices who have all been backing singers for big names and they decided it was now the time to be in the spotlight, not at the back. In my opinion, I don't think their vocals were all that strong, but it was still a valiant effort. One of the group had already been on the X Factor and this was his second chance pass as they sung their way through to the next stage after an encore performance of God Save the Queen.

Band of Voices

Next up was a montage of singers all who had chosen Alesha to impress and thought singing would gain there way to her heart. One of these featured was 16 year old Luciel Johns, who gave Alesha a cheeky wink, but sadly she realised he was old enough to be his mother so he was out of luck. Also we saw singer Maarty Broekman from the Netherlands. Inspired by ladies and time travel (?!), playing his weird keyboard guitar thing he sang a song called Back Door Lover, and no, it's not a song about anal sex! With his dodgy 80's synths and awful singing, he somehow made it through to the next round with only Simon being the one to buzz and say no to him. In my opinion, I think I now know what it would be like if I was to take hard drugs. Never again!

Luciel Johns

Maarty Brokeman

The final act of the evening was 29 year old Aliki Chrysochou who was once diagnosed with a brain disease that meant she had to learn how to speak, walk and generally learn everything again. Although she sang a song that I really hate now, she blew everyone in the audience away and also the judges with her operatic voice singing Evanescence's Bring Me To Life, which was somewhat a fitting song for what she had been through. With Amanda and Alesha in tears, Aliki received a deserved standing ovation fro the crowd and three of the judges. I believe that even if she does not go on to win the competition, she will still do well after the competition.

Aliki Chrysochou

And that is all there is time for this week! Another week's gone by and we've seen lots of talent tonight. I for one can not wait for next week as it is the last week of auditions and time to find out who has got through to the semi finals. So I will see you then!

Britain's Got Talent 2013 - Week 5

It's week five and kicking off tonight's show are best friends Jack and Cormac who were a singing duo from Ireland. Receiving a standing ovation from the crowd, they got through to the next round with flying colours and David likening them to "One Direction meets Simon and Garfunkel". But can the next lot of acts live up to that performance..?

Jack and Cormac

Next we met Justin the Bongo Man. An out of tune bongo player attempting to sing Rihanna's 'We Found Love'. Needless to say, Simon was not impressed. Next was Eddie, a singer who sang songs with celebrity masks on. Thank God he did not get through, he was awful! Then we met the very annoying Phil who was doing comedy impressions.Never have I wanted to punch someone in the face so much! But his impressions were pretty good. Poking fun out of Natalie Cassidy (Sonia from Eastenders), Lorraine Kelly (Daybreak), Stacey Solomon (X Factor/I'm A Celebrity), Kim and Aggie (How Clean Is Your House) and Louie Spence. Laughing his way through to the next round, I can imagine him doing well in the competition. 

Phil Green

Next up was MD Productions, a dance troupe who were on the show back in 2007 and in 2009, but have recruited new members in the hope of doing better this time round. In my opinion, there was too many of them and it looked a bit sloppy as you did not know where to look. Luickly they got through, Amanda, David and Alesha all saying yes and with Simon saying no because he was in a bad mood, The Mazeppa Cossacks did not impress him, but also got through with the same result.

MD Productions

Next was 71 year old Kelly Fox who is a singer. The first words she sang were, "Kiss my ass baby." You'd think a pensioner would know better! Not quit sure how she did it, but she managed to get a standing ovation! Her feisty nature won over the four judges and she was making her way through to the next round. Could we see her releasing that as a single and getting to number 1..? No.

Kelly Fox

Port Talbot's cutest kids decided to get together and create a dance act of their own called Pre-Skool, who are related to last year's finalists Nu Sxool. Not quite so good like their older brothers and sisters, but still a valiant effort by these kids. Of course, they were going to get through thanks to having the cute factor that seems to get a lot of these kids through. We were then treated (?) to an incredibly camp dance act who I sadly had to sit in the audience for, but it was all a lot of fun I guess. With more dance acts making their way through I can't help but think they need to ban them from entering! 

Pre-Skool

To end the show was 19 year old Rosie O'Sullivan, a singer from Birmingham. Self concious about her weight and crippled with fear, Rosie had nothing to fear. She blew away the crowd and the four judges with her outstanding singing. 

Rosie O'Sullivan

And that's it for this evening sadly. But I'll be back next week for more auditions and some more awful acts!

Britain's Got Talent 2013 - Week 4

Another short week has gone by and as I sit here scoffing a kebab, it's time for another fun packed Britain's Got Talent! So, without further ado, tonight's first act is the Bosom Buddies, two men in drag who think they will have a starring act in Las Vegas... not quite sure it will get that far! What happened next was not to be expected... They sang... But they sounded like two women AND it actually sounded good?! Typically, David loved this act! Anything camp and he's all over it! But Simon was a little reserved when deciding. But with four 'yes' responses from the judges, they were singing their way through! With a montage of the 'bonkers' acts, we were treated to a man putting a sword down his throat and pulling a trailer with the crew on - from the end of the sword hanging out of his mouth and a lovely act doing 'Funkacise', a mixture of "funky dancing" and exercises.  After all that excitement it was time for a break!

The Bosom Buddies

The judges enjoying 'Funkacise'

Next up we were treated to some rather interesting dance acts. A very camp dancer whose dreams of dancing in the West End were crushed by the four judges with Simon saying it looked like he had "walked into a kebab shop, drank two bottles of wine, got drunk, fell out on to the street. someone turns on Footloose and you start dancing." We were then graced with Walentina, whose 'different' style of dancing also went down like a lead balloon. A dance about friendship was next, which can only be described as very sloppy. They definitely need to re-evaluate their friendship with whoever told them that their dancing was good. But thankfully, saving the embarrassment was Mariella and Martin, from Holland, who have been dancing together for two years. Trust it to be people not from Britain who are providing the talent this year! They described themselves as a 'lift act' but it seemed more like he was flinging her around more than lifting her! She was like his rag doll. Nevertheless, they received a deserving standing ovation and there was no way that one of those judges would have said no. 

Mariella and Martin

Next up was dance troupe, Shockarellas. Thankfully, we haven't had to endure too many dance groups this year, I feel as though it's getting a bit tiresome with the amount of dance groups that have performed and got into the finals in the past. The same with the singing acts, I don't mind the young singers who blow us away (such as 2010's runner up Ronan Parke - who was amazing), I feel that the singers over sixteen years of age should apply for the X Factor as Britain's Got Talent seems like a fast track for singers who want to bypass having to compete against other singers. Rant over. We then were introduced to MckNasty, who happens to be Labrinth's older bother, who happens to be signed to Simon Cowell's label... coincidence much? His drumming was amazing to be fair, but was this just for show publicity?

An unusual act next, Thomas Bounce, a bounce juggler. Bounce juggling is "basically upside down juggling," or in other words - throwing balls at the floor and catching them. A lot of applause and shocked faces for a young boy throwing balls at the floor... Something that you tend to see in the holiday camps a lot from magicians. Simon buzzed the act, making him loose his rhythm and having to take a moment to get it back together, and the rest of the judges and Ant were not happy! Simon's main criticism happened to be the stairs were not good looking enough. After saying he didn't like the ping pong balls, Thomas corrected him and Ant came out from the wings to throw balls at Simon. With David and Amanda saying yes and Simon saying know, it was down to Alesha to make her decision. If she said no, Ant and Dec would throw balls at her, if she said yes she would be making a young teenager very happy. Luckily for him it was a yes!

More singers were showing us why they shouldn't compete, because they were all dreadful! Gwendolen Ellis turned down a ten month cruise contract to appear on the show, but Simon told her she should have taken the job... Which is right because she didn't get through! Twenty year old Alex Keirl, who was bullied at school for his singing (sob). If anything, he should have been bullied for his great singing. It was something that gave me slight goosebumps which rarely happens to me. A standing ovation from the room, there would have been something wrong with them if this guy did not get through!

Gwendolen Ellis

Alex Keirl

And fitting in with the trend, the show has ended on a high and that's all there's time for this week sadly. We've got to wait another week for more excitement and frolics when it returns. Thanks for reading and I will see you next week!

Britain's Got Talent 2013 - Week 3

It has been another boring week, but thankfully Britain's Got Talent is here for another week to keep us all entertained! So who is auditioning first tonight? First it was impersonator Steven, who said he was going to do ten impressions in two and a half minutes. Needless to say, he managed about four before getting the boot from the judges. Next up was dinner lady/cleaner Linda Hewett who just danced on stage with her roller blades  however, she wasn't quite aware that the judges had buzzed her off. Hasta La Pasta, a clown trio managed to upset the judges after getting four buzzes for being unfunny and claiming that they hate judges when Simon said he hates clowns. Let's be honest, who actually does like clowns?!

Linda Hewett

Hasta La Pasta

With it being all 'no's' for the day, eleven year old Asanda Jezile brought the house down. A self proclaimed diva, whose influences are Beyonce and Rihanna, she blew the audience and the judges away with her singing and diva moves. A definite act that needs to be your 'cup of tea' to have enjoyed. But she got four 'yes's' with all four judges not having to think about putting her through. Will we see more talented kids this series? I hope so! 

Asanda Jezile

Next up was married singing duo, Diamond & The Rough, who were absolutely awful and out of tune! Line dancer, Bill McKenchnie, was next to try his moves on the judges and they went down like a lead balloon. Whether or not it was line dancing, I don't know! Saving Birmingham from the bad talent was teenage band the Luminites. With a female singer, a male rapper, a beat boxer and a guitar player, these four got warm feedback from the judges and the audience. They were one of those bands that you can tell will definitely do well in the early stages of their career, but I can't see them being around in ten years time. But they definitely showed Birmingham how it's done!

Bill McKenchie

The Luminites

Next it was James and Shirley, who go by the stage name of Mother and Son. Now I saw these audition and it was hilarious! Both were singing, whilst Mother, Shirley, dropped cards with with words and pictures that corresponded with what they were singing. With Alesha and Amanda saying that David likes all the eccentric acts, this is what we were given. A woman who thought that doing sign language to Survivor's 'Eye Of The Tiger' was a good idea got David's approval, but not from the rest of the judges it was a no! Next was Ray Gordon who sung with some weird contraption that is apparently nicknamed the pork chop. Again, David loved the act and gave it a standing ovation, however the other three were not convinced. To add to the quirkiness  it was The Duelling Pianos. What sounded like something you'd hear on a fairground ride, it was actually quite catchy after a while. Despite Alesha, Amanda and Simon each buzzing, the girls seemed to quite enjoy it and got their buzzers withdrawn. So, through went the guys and I genuinely can't wait to see what they do in the next round if they get through! Hopefully they will release an album!

Mother and Son

The Duelling Pianos

Gearing us up for what will obviously be a dangerous act are lots of smaller acts who could have been life threatening, but were not! So next was a swordsman who was a mute as he was 'in the zone' due to his act being so dangerous. With what can only be said to be quite a deathly stare, Aaron Crow plucked unsuspecting members of the audience out and also Ant to become a part of the act. Aaron kindly placed a pineapple on Ant's head and then poured hot wax on his arm and face, then proceeded to blindfold himself. With that, he enjoyed a little dance and then swung at the female audience member splitting a paper bag of sugar. Then moving onto the male audience member slicing wood in half. But the last one was the most dangerous, pulling a knife on a petrified Ant McPartlin, he sliced that pineapple straight off of his head! This has to be one of the scariest acts that Britain's Got Talent has seen and one of the most dangerous. Will wee see someone die if he gets through to the live finals? Well he's got through to the next stage so he is a step closer

Aaron Crow

To end the show, we were showcased lots of guitar players. This year, Britain's Got Talent has seen a lot of guitar players who all think they all have what it takes to get through. Surely we have plenty of guitar playing singers who sing about being dumped already in the charts? Needless to say, the four judges were not happy with the amount of them they saw and Simon went as far as saying he would jump of a bridge if he saw another. However, bricklayer Robbie Kennedy was there to show that not all of the guitar players are shit and are just going to sing about their awful love lives. The moral of that story is, if you're in a relationship, don't take up playing the guitar! But back to Robbie, whose voice was amazing, you would not expect that from someone who works on a building site! Trust me, my Dad and uncles are builders and they can NOT sing!! Sounding somewhat like Nickleback, the judges asked him for another song as his first one was too depressing for them. Starting to lose his nerves, Robbie played another song which gave him a standing ovation from the judges and the crowd. Personally, I can't see him going to far, he might get an album out of it but that'll probably be the end of the line for him and he'll be back on the building sight quicker than cement drying. 

Robbie Kennedy

And that's it for another week! We've seen plenty of great talent this evening and I'm sure a lot of you will be on YouTube re-watching those piano players!! I'll be back same time, same place, next week for more great acts!

Britain's Got Talent 2013 - Week 2

We're back! It's the second week of Britain's Got Talent for 2013 and we are starting in Manchester. First off, it's dance duo AJ and Chloe. A fantastic duo who proved that at the age of eighteen, dance does appeal to youngsters (but not me!). I'm  sure Simon will definitely be booking them for his new strictly inspired show premiering on ITV in the autumn. Sadly, there was a few other dancers who hadn't quite practised all trying to get through, but none of them were up to the high standards of AJ and Chloe.

AJ and Chloe

Over to Birmingham now, where the gorgeous Sinitta is in the audience! And out next act is singing duo Richard and Adam Johnson who are brothers from North Wales. Unfortunately, I am not into opera singing, so this act did not appeal to me, but the reaction from the crows and the judges were incredibly positive. Even as someone who does not like opera, I cannot begin to tell you how outstanding these two were! Who would have thought that two sandwich making brothers would have such a great talent?!

Richard and Adam Johnson

Next up was unemployed singing act Two Ways. There song 'Up and Down' could possibly contribute to the reason as to why they were unemployed... If they are chasing the dream of being singers, it's definitely time to give up. With arguments over the judges, Simon and David sent the two guys packing, whilst Amanda sent her water over Simon's head. This was the start of the boy girl divide. A tap dancer was the next to split opinions but the biggest feud was thanks to the Pop'Arazzi Crew, who in my opinion where awful! Even as an audience member, I did not enjoy it, and the second time round I did not! David and Simon didn't like it, but with Amanda and Alesha loving it, they stormed out in rage when the boys did not want to put them through. Eventually, David caved in they guys got through. Was it a good act to put through? No. So with that, David and Simon were left to judge on their own and put ex-pastry chef, Neil, through to the next round - despite him not being the best of singers. 

Neil Hook

Pop'Arazzi

So with their differences put aside and Amanda and Alesha back in the room, the CEO Dancers took to the stage. What I can only describe as having a fit on stage, they bootyshook their way through to the next round. With Simon saying how much he 'loved' them and the girls finally agreeing with the boys, could this be good news for the rest of the acts of the day? 

CEO Dancers

Afro headed singer and pianist Tariq was next to get for votes through from the judges, followed by five year old Jordan Nash. With Nash purely getting through on the 'cute' vote thanks to his cute face and cute dancing will this streak of people getting through end? Well Jordan O'Keefe was going to make sure he got through. The definite teenage girl's vote, who will purely get through the semi final rounds thanks to the good voice and good looks that teenage girls all over the country will fall in love with.

Jordan Nash

Jordan O'Keefe

Next was On The Edge. A boyband who were so out of tune that Simon even proclaimed they would have no chance of ever getting a recording contract. But saving the stage was mum of two, Francine Lewis, who is an impressionist. What a breath of fresh air Francine was to the show! Portraying Stacey Solomon, Amy Childs, Katie Price, Holly Willoughby and Cheryl Cole, it was a change from the show which has been full of singers this evening. It's rare that we see female impressionists on the show, but Francine proved that there are some still left out there. As long as she can do more impressions of other celebrities, she will go far.

Francine Lewis

The last act of the show was MC Boy, or MC Prick, which is what he should have called himself. We're shown him trying to chat every girl up he can get the chance to talk to and then he tells everyone that he has a dream that he auditioned for the show... and didn't get through... Not quite what you should be letting them know. With a VERY bad dance routine which involved the funky chicken and an awful rap, his future isn't looking very bright. However, he got the audience dancing, Ant and Dec dancing and even the judges (minus Simon) dancing. Luckily for him, he got through, but perhaps he will turn out like last year's novelty act Mr Zip... who we haven't heard from since...

MC Boy

Sadly that is all for this week and I will be again getting withdrawal symptoms from the show! I'll be back, same time, same place next week for the third week of the 2013 auditions!

Britain's Got Talent 2013 - Week 1

Britain's Got Talent is back and with plenty of talent pouring in during the auditions, it's a quick start to the show with out first few acts. 2's Country start the show on a low with their awful country singing leaving the judges with sour faces. Do these people not listen to themselves singing?!

As the auditions and the talent 'pours' in, there's a lot of awful comedians. I think a lot of them really need to try their jokes out on an actual audience before trying out at the auditions. But 21 year old comedian Paul Stark hits a new low by telling plenty of awful jokes. He then goes on to insult the audience so is sent packing by Simon. Then onto the stage is young comedian Jack Carroll  a fourteen year old aspiring comedian with cerebral palsy, whose jokes are all based around him and his condition. Receiving a standing ovation from the judges and audience, Jack not only shows that there are some funny young comedians around, but it is also okay to make jokes about the disabled in the right context. Most people see the disabled as a taboo subject in the comedy circuit, but Jack has proven that it can be funny.

With Simon ill, it's just the three judges putting people through, so could this mean lots of weird acts going through? Well Sia Lord was definitely a weird one and he got through... COME BACK SIMON! Next up is Martin Healey, a man dressed as a vicar with a broom dressed as a nun. Why anyone would want to dance to Adelvice with a puppet is beyond me, yet why anyone would think this is a talent confuses me. But, sweet talking his way through saying he'd be a sumo wrestler in the next round is how he convinced the three judges that he should progress. 

Thankfully, Simon returns just in time for eleven year old Arisxandra Libantino who brought the house down! With a rendition of Jenifer Hudson's 'One Night Only', Arisxandra received a standing ovation and a 'yes' from all four judges. Could this be the first year a young singer wins after the amazing Ronan Parke sadly lost out to Jai McDowall?

So with the start of the new series, the judges and acts are all excited, but some of the acts are not necessarily getting into that spirit with their acts. Such as housewife and chair exerciser, Ceri Graham. Until she takes off her clothes that is..! Every man in that room definitely had 100% concentration whilst watching this act. Coaxed by David Walliams, Simon is forced upon stage for his own lap dance from Ceri and partly from David. Never has Simon ever been so sure about putting an act through than he has with Ceri. So if you  want to know how to get through, just make sure you're female, wear as little clothing as you possibly can and gyrate around a chair! 

Now, I am not trying to discriminate against other nations or countries, but the whole title of 'Britain's Got Talent' surely means that only British citizens should be allowed to participate? But then again, a slightly overweight Italian lady singing Italian songs is something good to laugh at. Edgar from Latvia, shows us that the Europeans are no better than us Brits at auditioning and that perhaps we do have a small ounce of talent! That is until the Attraction black light theatre audition. An amazing dance group that perform behind a screen making lots of different shapes and objects with their bodies. From churches and a car, to Stonehenge and hearts, they had it all! Accompanied by Emeli Sandé's  'Read All About It', this act will definitely progress far in the competition, leaving most people with tears in their eyes.

The final act, Alice Fredenham, I was in the audience for and the atmosphere and response to her was electrical in the room! A very moving singer who didn't believe in herself and has stage fright, but has the potential to win the competition and become a worldwide phenomenon. With moneybags flashing in Simon's eyes, she will get to the final. This girl's voice is unique and she deserves to go far regardless of the competition! Unfortunatly she didn't tell anyone she was auditioning because she didn't want to let them down, but I bet when she got home her family were the most proud of her they ever have been!

Just before she left the stage, I saw half of my head on screen! But that's all there is for this week unfortunately and we have to wait another week for more 'talent' and surprises! I will  undoubtedly be in anticipation all week!

I'm back!

Hello!

After a year's absence I am back and I'm blogging again! It has been a very busy year for me and this blog has sadly been neglected. But things are changing as I'm hopefully going to blog once a week from this weekend onwards.

This weekend marks the start of Britain's Got Talent 2013 and I was lucky enough to be in the audience again! I was sitting near the front at the Birmingham auditions and even had a camera pointing at my face a lot, so who knows, I could be on telly!

For now I'll leave you with a lovely picture of me and my two friends, Jamie and Ollie, in the audience.

See you next saturday!